I am typing this post at Macdonald's on a break from studying Franz Schubert off the text of history's reference. Earphones off and bladder emptied. There's quite masquerade for mid-aged aunties and uncles just outside at the amphi-theater. Random folks blare their vocals in hokkien which I can barely understand, and occasionally prancing on the small podium they make do as a stage.

It's times like this, that I get to stop being judgmental and full of myself, and secretly enjoy the life that's going around me. (if I were to be with any of my peers, I'd be quite the bitch that's constantly annoyed by anything that's a decibel too high for my liking. Call it split personality if you may, but I guess everybody has a front to show in front of people we know, don't we?).

These random performances by aunties in heavily sequined tops and uncles that you would easily associate them to park benches and lift lobbies aren't exactly serious music to most ears (they ain't exactly singing in perfect tune to Mozart's operas or Schubert's Lider. I study my history!). But amongst all these loud banging of drums and synthetic music that's a little too loud on the keyboard, I found something that a lot of us, music students majoring in performance lack, the pleasure in performing!

The folks out there might not be in perfect tune or dancing like Beyonce and Lady Gaga in their latest MV, but they never stopped enjoying to perform. I secretly watched their performance at the background, and never once did any one of them felt shy or embarrassed dancing and prancing to a size of audience that would easily shrink my balls. No fear can be felt from the stage, no tight awkwardness in the audience. The performers enjoy performing while the audience enjoys the performance. That is how I want to perform, and how I want my audience to be! Not being out of tune or silly prancing, but simply enjoy performing. Audience not being critical and judgmental to my performances, but really enjoying what they can see, listen, and feel.

I vowed to myself in clandestine, and strive to perform without any speck of fear, and to the total enjoyment of myself and my audience.

But while I plan how to get there, I better get back into the flashback of Schubert's life before he dies, again. And by the way, it seems like my social life has beem reduced to the level of being non-existent. I'm officially a mugger, and I'm kinda proud of it. = )